Bullies are Cowards!

I was excited to be moving to England.  I had never been to England just to London.  All I knew about England was through Midsomer Murders!  I was disappointed that there was no John Lewis in Oxford but never mind.

I was excited about finding a job in England.  In Scotland, I was self employed. I was nervous about working in the outside world but I needed to get stuck in. 

Despite being well qualified, I wasn’t getting past the interview stages. I was frustrated.  There was a firm in our village and I decided to email my CV to the owner (who was to become my boss). Just that they were not hiring!!!’ I got a reply the next day.  I started work on the  21st of September! I was elated.  It was my dream job!

Sadly for me, I knew by day two that I was unhappy in that office. My boss was a couple of years older than me. He was hot tempered and got very angry at the drop of a hat. I was often afraid that he might throw something at me! His behaviour was erratic.  Was he a bully?  I had never met a bully before so I quickly brushed that thought aside.  How wrong I was!

I didn’t want to resign because it had been so so difficult trying to find a job.

My boss monitored my every movement including my emails, phone calls. etc. I knew I was being monitored.  Thankfully I could walk home for lunch so was able to get some respite. I felt trapped. 

I dreaded going to work.

By Christmas that year, I was so stressed that I had developed ulcers all over inside my mouth. Despite all the emotional sufferings, I never missed a day’s work!

The final straw that broke the camel’s back was one Friday in February when my boss CONFISCATED my chair for about 2 hours!!!! I had to type a report standing. He found it all amusing. Was this really happening to me? Me a middle aged woman being treated like a naughty child?

I served my one months’s notice.

What was supposed to have been a very happy start to my life in England had made me homesick and miserable.

A few years later, just when I thought that I had put this very sad chapter of my life behind,  I heard that this person was preparing to become a Church of England Ordinand!!!!! Don’t these things only happen in the movies???

It has been many years since this happened but it still feels very raw. I will always remember the 21st of September for all the wrong reasons!

Heresy of Universalism

I listen to the Daily Service on Radio 4 long wave but am not always very pleased with the choice of presenters. I am surprised by the high number of non clergy who present it.

I am High Church but not Anglo Catholic: I like the service to be traditional and preferably by a member of the clergy. I am happy with a fair balance of traditional and non traditional services but often times, they are more non traditional than traditional.

The theme yesterday was the Criminal Justice System. During prayer, the clergy person addressed prisoners as God’s children! I am no theologian but I was taken aback by that particular description. I know that God is our Creator and We on earth are his Creation. As far as I know, we call God our Father when we enter into a relationship with Him.

Anyway, this subject was a thorn in my flesh as I had just finished reading about the widow of the policeman who was so brutally killed last year. I was very sad to know that they had only been married for a month and that the widow was not even allowed to see his body for one last time as his body was so mangled. How cruel!

Heresy of Universalism means there is no hell. I think one is clever enough to know what I am trying to say. There is forgiveness but only if we repent.

By the way, I got this big term from the Mhinisteir so please don’t be too impressed with my blog title!!!! As I say, I am no theologian!!!

Monday Blues

Like Garfield, I had Monday Blues.

I was furious ( over reaction on my part!!!) with the Milkman this morning.   In order to prevent the milk from turning bad in the summer heat,  I invested in a MilkandMore cool bag.  I have been leaving it out for the milkman to put the milk bottle in it to keep the milk cool. I don’t know what came over the milkman this morning but he did not do it! The milk bottle was left on the doorstep to sun itself!!! Maybe he had the Monday Blues too!

Then I read in the papers that a certain clergy person has confessed to an inappropriate relationship with the wife of a former Archbishop of Canterbury.  Not another Church of England scandal!!!

Things got back to normal when our new mattress topper from John Lewis arrived. We have an old mattress that is uncomfortable.  We can feel the springs.  We were struggling to find a suitable mattress.  It was during this time that I read somewhere that there is an inexpensive option.  To purchase a mattress topper at a fraction of the price of a good mattress.  I did more research and found one suitable on the John Lewis website.  Unfortunately it was out of stock.  I decided to wait until it was back in stock but that day never arrived.  In the meantime, we continued struggling with our mattress.

Last week, when we got some John Lewis vouchers in the post, I decided to go ahead and finally order a mattress topper.

Here’s to a good night’s sleep!!!!

 

 

 

 

No more tears!

I no longer tear. In other words I can no longer shed tears. I seem to have run out of tears. Is that even possible?

I first noticed that I had stopped shedding tears about a few years ago. I didn’t think anything of it but then I began to panic. I wondered if I no longer cared or have feelings. However I now realise that it is probably due to the very very difficult time that I have had to go through especially in the last couple of years.

I didn’t know that one could run out of tears. I do feel sad but just that the tears have stopped flowing. I pray that one day it will start flowing again. We are of course fearfully and wonderfully made as we are reminded in verse 14 of Psalm 139.

Green Flag, how dare you?

Back at the garage, we had a bit of a wait before our car could be examined. It was very good of our garage to even bother giving us a slot. About an hour later, the Mechanic came in with the dip stick and asked ” Who did this”???

The Mhinisteir was horrified as the dip stick was covered in duck tape!!! It later transpired that the Green Flag Mechanic had not only broken the dip stick but had also tampered with some of the wires!! To add salt to the injury, the Mechanic said that this was a minor problem that could have been solved at Heathrow!!!!

At this point, I regretted giving the tenner!!!! The Mhinisteir asked me if we should report this matter to Green Flag. I said no because all I could see was that sadly someone chose to be an instrument in the devil’s hands and so why waste time reporting it. I would rather God dealt with the matter. It is so much easier.

The garage didn’t have the spare part so they put a temporary stop to the problem and sent us on our way. We were so thankful to be able to come back to the Vicarage in our own car even though we were dog tired.

Phantom Friends

Do you have Phantom friends? I seem to have accumulated a good number of them over the course of almost 30 years. They are strange these phantom friends…. When you first get to know them, they are all over you like a rash and over the course of time, when you have to move away, they too disappear. Birthday cards remain unacknowledged….Text messages and emails remain unanswered even though their contact details remain the same. How do I know that? That’s because 5 or 10 years down the road you get a text, email or letter from one of these phantom friends. How do they know where we live since we have had to move to different countries in that time? Strange but somehow they find you. Sadly, it is always because they have a favour to ask of you which usually comes in the form of a request for a free holiday!!!!! Sad isn’t it? But what is heartbreaking is that they are Christians.

I am very slow to make friends but once they become friends they are for life but unfortunately my experience with phantom friends has taught me that you can only have a couple of friends for life. The rest are just acquaintances.

After much prayer, I have decided to let go of my phantom friends. It is a painful decision but this is an abuse of relationship.

Goodbye 2019 & Hello 2020!

2019 started on a massive high.

We moved into our new Parish and my health was beginning to look up. However, a few months into the new year, we had a few sudden deaths in our family/friendship circle acutely reminding us of our own fragility.

The Mhinisteir found his new parish very challenging. There were a lot of unresolved problems that he had inherited. My own health was beginning to go downhill very quickly. It was discouraging. Serious illnesses were beginning to plaque older family members. Fair weather friends were exposed. Even though I am used to this, it still hurts when people break your trust!!!

Fast forward to December 2019, things were very different. Life is more settled. Health is still like a yoyo but I am contented. God was with us and constantly reminded us that we are never on our own like for example when we got this huge bill just before Christmas. In a miraculous way, it was all sorted within a week for it is He who owns the cattles in a thousand hills.

As I step into 2020, I do not have any resolutions but am going to cling on to His promise as it is found in Isaiah 52

For ye shall not go out with haste, nor go by flight: for the Lord will go before you; and the God of Israel will be your reward. – Isaiah 52:12

Happy New Year to all who faithfully read my blog!!

Bean A’ Mhinisteir xx

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