2020 · Blogging · Bully · Church of England · Clergy Wife · England · Faith · Forgiveness · God · Left Handed · Midsomer Murders · Rural · Scotland · Scottish Highlands · Tears · Vicarage · Village

Bullies are Cowards!

I was excited to be moving to England.  I had never been to England just to London.  All I knew about England was through Midsomer Murders!  I was disappointed that there was no John Lewis in Oxford but never mind.

I was excited about finding a job in England.  In Scotland, I was self employed. I was nervous about working in the outside world but I needed to get stuck in. 

Despite being well qualified, I wasn’t getting past the interview stages. I was frustrated.  There was a firm in our village and I decided to email my CV to the owner (who was to become my boss). Just that they were not hiring!!!’ I got a reply the next day.  I started work on the  21st of September! I was elated.  It was my dream job!

Sadly for me, I knew by day two that I was unhappy in that office. My boss was a couple of years older than me. He was hot tempered and got very angry at the drop of a hat. I was often afraid that he might throw something at me! His behaviour was erratic.  Was he a bully?  I had never met a bully before so I quickly brushed that thought aside.  How wrong I was!

I didn’t want to resign because it had been so so difficult trying to find a job.

My boss monitored my every movement including my emails, phone calls. etc. I knew I was being monitored.  Thankfully I could walk home for lunch so was able to get some respite. I felt trapped. 

I dreaded going to work.

By Christmas that year, I was so stressed that I had developed ulcers all over inside my mouth. Despite all the emotional sufferings, I never missed a day’s work!

The final straw that broke the camel’s back was one Friday in February when my boss CONFISCATED my chair for about 2 hours!!!! I had to type a report standing. He found it all amusing. Was this really happening to me? Me a middle aged woman being treated like a naughty child?

I served my one months’s notice.

What was supposed to have been a very happy start to my life in England had made me homesick and miserable.

A few years later, just when I thought that I had put this very sad chapter of my life behind,  I heard that this person was preparing to become a Church of England Ordinand!!!!! Don’t these things only happen in the movies???

It has been many years since this happened but it still feels very raw. I will always remember the 21st of September for all the wrong reasons!

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Doc Martin,Vicar of Dibley & Midsomer Murders

Last Friday as I waited at the Doctor’s surgery for my turn to be seen, my mind turned to my blog.  How do readers view my life in a Vicarage??? More importantly, how do I see my life in a Vicarage?

I think I often fail to mention what a privilege it is to be married to a Vicar and to live in a Vicarage.  We share in the ups and downs of our parishioners lives.  Our lives become intertwined with our parishioners that when It is time to move on, there are plenty of tears.  Our parishioners are more than friends but they are not family.  There must always be a professional boundary which can be quite tricky.

As a Vicar’s Wife, I am also sometimes privy to secrets which I have to bring to my grave!

I think the best way to describe my life in a Vicarage is that it is a big mix of Doc Martin, Vicar of Dibley and Midsomer Murders!!!!

Doc Martin – For the comedy and gossip that goes on in a small village.

Vicar of Dibley – For the funny things that happen during a church service like when the organist continues playing long after the congregation has stopped singing!!!!

Midsomer Murders – For all the crime and mystery.